BONK
Throw the ball
The dodgeball club for grown‑ups who got picked last.
This is your redemption arc.
Recess, but for adults
Seven-week seasons
No gym teacher. Promise.
How it works
Here's the game plan.
The fitness test
Question 1 of 3
Not sure which league fits? Three questions. No running required.
A ball is flying at your face. You…
Coach's verdict
The Mid Life
Solid arm. Questionable hamstrings.
How it works · checklist
Sign up
Bring a crew of 6–10, or come solo and join the free-agent pool.
We build the teams
Every team gets a mix of newbies and big arms, so every game stays close.
Play seven weeks
One weeknight, 45 minutes, refs included. Finals night has a trophy.
Spring season · starts April 7
Choose your difficulty.
Report card
The Soft Serve
Mondays
$85
7 spots left
The Mid Life
Wednesdays
$85
3 spots left
The Sweat Lodge
Thursdays
$95
1 spot left!
Coach's comments
Shows real potential. Must stop flinching.
— Coach Deb
Pick a league row
to fill in your slip »
to fill in your slip »
Team name emergency?
Let the machine name your team.
The Overcaffeinated Accountants
The yearbook · Fall season
Last season, in print.
Fall champions
The Spicy Accountants
Most likely to dodge responsibility
The Unbothered Hall Monitors
Best comeback
Knee Braces FC
Loudest bench
The Overcaffeinated Group Chat
Most improved aim
The Book Club
Best team name
The Legally Distinct Minivans
Gym 4, 7:29 PM. The calm before.
Mid-throw. Allegedly a headshot.
The ref's lucky whistle.
Victory cowbell, still ringing.
The Bonkstitution
The rules are in the lockers.
Tap a locker. We won't tell the gym teacher.
01
Headshots don't count. Apologies do.
Also found: one very sweaty headband
01
02
Catch a ball and a teammate comes back in. Teamwork, baby.
Also found: a permission slip from 1998
02
03
The ref's call is final. The ref is also a volunteer, so be nice.
Also found: the ref's lucky whistle (do not touch)
03
04
Last team standing gets to ring the victory cowbell.
Also found: the cowbell. Obviously.
04
Notes passed in class
Psst. Got questions?
Tap a note to unfold it.
Do I need my own gear?
Nope. Balls, pinnies and refs are on us. Bring indoor shoes and a water bottle.
Tap to unfold
I've never played. Is that okay?
That's what The Soft Serve is for. Your first night starts with a ten-minute crash course.
Tap to unfold
What if I get hurt?
Foam balls in beginner leagues, headshots don't count, and there's a first-aid kit at the scorer's table every night.
Tap to unfold
Can I switch nights mid-season?
Once, if there's room in the other league. Ask Coach Deb nicely.
Tap to unfold
What's the refund policy?
Full refund until the first whistle. After that, a pro-rated credit toward next season.
Tap to unfold
How old do I have to be?
19 and up. It's a social club, and the social part happens at the pub across the street.
Tap to unfold
Hall pass
Good for 7 weeks
Report to
Harbourview Rec Centre, Gym 4
Back entrance, by the bike racks
Bell schedule
Mon · Wed · Thu, 7–10 PM
Doors open at 6:45
Parking
Free lot out back
Overflow on Harbour Street
Bring
Indoor shoes and water
Balls and pinnies provided
Get on the court.
Permission slips are due March 28. Signing up alone? You'll go into the free-agent draft, and this time someone picks you first.
Permission slip · Spring season
No. 0417
Slip received! ✓ Watch your inbox for your team placement, and start stretching.
That one didn't land. Check your fields and throw it again.